Haven’t used tumblr for a long time. Got bored using it since I had no idea what to post and I wasn’t comfortable with the idea that other people(people I know) might actually read my blog. I’m one of those people who gets bored easily. Not a good thing. And no its not really a good
trait to have. The only thing that doesn’t bore me is reading, watching and taking pictures.

I’m not really good with words and in expressing what I feel through writing so please bare with me.

I’ve been having a hard time at work. It’s hard to explain, so ok let’s start from the beginning. I’m not smart. I’m actually quite dumb. Maybe average. But sometimes really stupid. I have no confidence whatsoever about my capabilities, my looks, everthing. But i’ve been really blessed. I didn’t like
the course that I picked but I had no choice, I thought Computer Science might be easy, I know how to use
the computer, ok let’s enroll in that course. But it was all about programming,analysis,designing and other things I didn’t have the slightest idea what’s it all about(our highschool computer teacher was always absent). But I passed every subject, had a partner for thesis but I did most of the work and she’s smarter
than me, graduated after 4 years.Some people might think, ‘wow she’s good’, but no, I’m not good in programming, I wan’t to learn web development but I can’t even develop a website using html. Looking for a job in UAE(hometown) is pretty hard if your not knowledgeable in programming, web design or networking. You can hear me crying while surfing the net looking for a job knowing there’s no chance I’ll pass the interview. So I applied for something easier, admin jobs, receptionist. Until someone called me for an interview for Etisalat for a sales position, I wasn’t suppose to be accepted but the interviewer
said I did a great job in the interview so I was in (I know I did great *evil laugh). But, there was a problem with
the HR and the agency and they didn’t call me back then someone else called me for an interview for Siemens, I was hired, I thought that position in Etisalat won’t happen so I accepted Siemens offer. I regreted it. After accepting the offer Etisalat called me again offering me the position and I couldn’t say yes because I already signed the contract for the other company. I was so devastated. The salary was so different and I had to travel
4hrs everyday. Most of my colleagues are older, no one to talk to during work and always alone at home. Yes, I have a lonely life and other people say I’m lucky I get what I wan’t. They don’t even know what I want, or what I want,or if I’m happy.

Two more months before my contract expires. Finally a chance to look for another job that’ll hopefully be fun and fulfilling at the same time.

xoxo estranged princess